The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
