farters have to be the big spoon...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
