I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
