Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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