dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You can't just leave with hair like that
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
