I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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