Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
