This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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