Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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