4 words: hood of his car
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize