I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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