toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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