just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
