That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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