these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
