My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
