Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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