i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
