My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We are all done wearing pants today
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
