Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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