he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
