I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
