I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
