uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
