I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
did i walk over a car last night?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
