Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
