It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
