Don't you send me to vm
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
