We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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