Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
