there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
