Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I believe in your delicious
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize