There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
