69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
