is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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