I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
