no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
