Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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