One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
