do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
