I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I deserve this hangover.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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