but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
