My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
