u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
