if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
we should paint friendship bongs
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