He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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