just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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