sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
