hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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