can we get nightvision for the apartment?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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