I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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