the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
