You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
