Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
3pm strippers are depressing
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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