Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
thus making me awesome and them whores
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
