Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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