you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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