ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize