I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
