I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
