I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
