if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
