I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
