Soap is not a condiment
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
