I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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