Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Everything about him screamed your future.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
