when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
