I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
