Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Randomize
