you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
