Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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