we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
